I wanted to write a blog post last Friday evening but I couldn’t muster the energy. I just felt so overwhelmed and unfocused. The tragedy of Friday morning in Newtown, CT will never be forgotten. It was unimaginable, horrific and at times too much to even think about. I don’t believe we will fully understand what happened or why. It is unexplainable and far too evil to be reasoned.
I could choose to write about so many things…how to speak to your children about the event, how I feel about gun legislation, school security, religion, mental health issues, etc. Instead, I want to help you find the gift of radical acceptance. We must accept what happens to us. Life can be dark and dreadful. Evil exists everywhere. Your grief will bring you from pain and disbelief, to anger, to profound sadness and loss and then to acceptance. It will be triggered again and again when you least expect it and at holidays, anniversaries and birthdays. Even if imperfect, the grief process will end in acceptance and that’s a good thing.
When we have radical acceptance we understand that “bad things happen to good people”. We refuse to become a victim to our victimhood. We have clarity and the understanding that what happens to us is part of the quixote human condition. Radical acceptance is the end stage of healthy grief. We become easier to live with and we create a spirit and soul of peace.
In between our trials learn to nourish your body, mind and spirit. Be patient…be kind…nurture your relationships and your community. When life sends you challenges (and it will) you will be ready.
Can we truly heal from such horror? Is this beyond our human endurance? I may not know the answer to this but I do know that we can try…together.